I'm Busy.

I am not sure if you have heard, but it is March. Actually it is dangerously close to the middle of March. And even when I have a really quiet moment, and think about it really hard I can not figure out for the life of me where February went.
In February I celebrated my husband's birthday, helped lead a 10 day trip to Kenya, recovered from the worst jet lag I have ever experienced, attended a week long conference, made a giant life decision, all while continuing on with my normal day-to-day tasks. Phew! It is making me tired just thinking about it. So in the blink of an eye and just like that February was gone and we were on to March.

I heard a Spanish Proverb the other day...
"Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the year"

Well doesn't that speak straight to my heart.
There are very few days where I DON'T think "I am busy."

Because isn't that how it always is? I have got places to go, people to see, tasks to accomplish. And if I am being honest the part of my life that usually takes the biggest hit when I am busy making sure all the plates are spinning in ministry and home is my personal relationships with friends.

My friends get the left overs - if there are any.
And when I literally do not have any hours left in the day to lunch or sip coffee while having a conversation...I realize it is still really important for me to stay connected to my friends. Because my friends keep me connected to the outside (read: non-ministry) world. Because my friends fill up my soul with laughter and joy. Because if I am not maintaining healthy relationships how can I expect my students and volunteers to have healthy relationships.

So here are the three ways I make sure my friendships don't get neglected when ministry is ruling my life:
1. I connect virtually. Pick your poison: email, Facebook, text. Whatever it is...however impersonal it feels to you...it is still better than nothing. I promise. A quick post on a Facebook wall "Life is crazy. I am thinking about you. Next week is slower. Coffee on Thursday?" is better than just waiting the extra week to connect. It communicates that even though you are busy you are thinking about the person, you are not ignoring them, and you do not think your time is more important than them.

2. I look ahead and anticipate busyness. What do you have coming up? Launching small groups? Planning camp? Entering into a busy season? Prepare the important people in your life. Send an email letting everyone know it is coming, set up times to meet before the storm hits. I ate every meal (breakfast, lunch and dinner) the three days I left before Kenya with a friend. I made sure that that my friends knew that I wanted to see them, whatever they had happening in their life was important to me, and I made sure they knew I wouldn't be ignoring them the whole month of February.

3. When I do finally connect, I shut up and listen. When I do finally get to see my friends I have to make a conscious effort to not just dump all over them. I ask questions about them and what is going in their life...then I listen. Sometimes it is hard, because when you are busy you have a lot to talk about. You are processing a lot, you have some really great stories to tell, you want to vent, and you are drained from listening to other people. But before you do all of that make sure you are giving and not just taking. Be a good friend.

Having healthy relationships is so important when it comes to ministry. They keep us balanced and are necessary for the "Love Others" part of our walk as a Christian....so we need to protect and nurture our friendships.